Rebuttal to The Secret
© 2008 by Tricia Stuart

           I take issue with the premise in Rhonda Byrne’s THE SECRET DVD that the key to health, happiness, and wealth is simply to know what you want, believe you can have it, ask the universe to give it to you, and then receive your wish. In the real world, that doesn’t work. “Action may sometimes be required,” is the only statement in the video production that begins to touch the very real world that you and I live in. But action is always required.
           Belief gives power to just about anything, but just because you wish for that necklace, or bicycle, or a million dollars, and envision it and believe you will get it does not mean that the real people in your real life will give it to you, even if you do deserve it.
           In the very real world, if you have no job, no income, and believe with all the envisioning in the world for wealth, and ask the universe to make you wealthy, the universal genie isn’t suddenly going to grant your wish. The genie is a figment of imagination and the “believe, ask, receive” formula is all smoke and mirrors because it ignores the crucial, necessary element of individual focused effort.
           This isn’t to say that a positive outlook (and especially a sense of humor in this often difficult and challenging life) doesn’t have value. A chronic bitterness or anger toward life, self, and others will not help you. But beyond what I would say are the very necessary ingredients of a positive outlook and humor (and I will add a “can do” attitude) is the willingness and ability to take positive action. Without taking positive action, nothing is gained; nothing is accomplished. You can spend (and waste) your life believing, and hoping, and wishing for your ship of wealth to come in (while tacking up glossy pictures of a luxury cruise liner filled with money, the picture of the movie star you adore, and the picture of the ideal drop dead gorgeous body you would like to have onto a vision board) and become older than God wishing and waiting for that ship to come in.
           There is no magic Law of Attraction. Belief in a Law of Attraction doesn’t acknowledge the need for individual responsibility and accountability, and it isn’t empowering because how can one take action and have control over one’s own life if one believes in a law that is bigger and more powerful than individual actions and consequences? You can’t see or touch that entity.
           Every action and choice that you have made up to the present time has brought you to your present circumstances in the present moment. This is what is known as Karma. The people with whom you have chosen to associate are part of that Karma. If you don’t like your Karma, make more positive choices and take positive action. This is the only thing that will change your circumstances, not a nebulous Law of Attraction.
           Affirmations are a lie and are potentially dangerous. When you lie to yourself, you lie to others, and you enable bad choices that are harmful to yourself and to others. If, for example, you are in an abusive or incompatible relationship, and you sit down and write affirmations about how wonderful the other person is, like, “I am so happy and grateful now that—,” you are lying to yourself, not seeing and acknowledging the problems, and therefore you are not seeking resolution to the problems. In this way, you do not admit to yourself that the relationship isn’t working, and isn’t going to work, you allow the problems to continue to exist, and if the relationship is destructive, you allow the abuse and dysfunction to continue.
           If a situation or relationship were really positive, you would feel good about it, and there would be no need to write affirmations to tell yourself how good everything is. You would already know that. If problems in the relationship were worth working out, then the best solution would be to communicate effectively in a constructive manner with that person to resolve the problems, and seek counseling when necessary. Writing affirmations won’t solve the relationship issues. It takes two people, not one, to make a relationship work.
           THE SECRET message sounds like the Bobby McFerrin song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy.” A positive outlook is a good idea, but a forced smile isn’t natural or healthy. Some days we feel great; other days we don’t. When you aren’t feeling happy or well, ask yourself, “Why?” Trace the cause for the feeling to its origins, and then seek the remedy for feeling bad. Take positive action to make every aspect of your life healthy. This will make you feel good. Everything that is worth achieving in this life must be worked at. I would argue that, for most of us, the good things in life are not handed to us on a silver platter. The magic genie in the sky and a thought that, somehow, things will just work out, is nothing more than fantasy.
           We all probably know at least one person who seems to be an endless litany of complaint, failing to see the positive that he or she has in life. I would argue that no “Wake up and smell the roses” speech will get through to that person. Have you noticed that chronic complainers have nothing at all to say if they don’t complain? I do advocate finding the positive in one’s life, always, and most especially when things seem to be at their worst. Again, working through the problems one moment at a time, one day at a time, by taking positive action, will go a long way toward making you feel better. I would add: Examine your environment and the things and people who are part of your physical and emotional environment. If the physical environment and/or relationships that you inhabit are negative, this will act as poison on your mental outlook and motivation. Get away from toxic people and environments, make positive choices, and take positive actions. This will help you feel better. Feeling good isn’t just a matter of wishful thinking. You have to actually DO something about it.
           The real formula for health, happiness, and wealth isn’t the wave of the magic wand that THE SECRET promotes. It isn’t that simple, though the simple-minded will grow old believing it and waiting for a miracle.
           In the real world, where most of us live, the first thing that is required is realization and acknowledgement that there is a problem that needs solving, i.e., unemployment and subsequent poverty, or bad health, or a poor living environment, or lack of education and subsequent opportunity that is lacking, or whatever the problem may be. Secondly, the concept that problems have solutions must be present. If we don’t have the solution to the problem at our fingertips, then we must possess enough of a positive mental outlook to realize that other people have the same problem and we are not alone, and that someone has the solution to that problem. But we must take positive action and actively seek the solution.
           This is the information age and we have more access to information now than we have ever had in the past. And the information gathering systems, such as the Internet, research institutions, universities, libraries, and bookstores proliferate.
           If a problem exists, it is up to you to help yourself. I’ve discovered that friends can be either informative and helpful, or ignorant. So be careful from whom you seek advice. This is reality. But experts exist in every field. Experts write books. If you want to save self, find out who the experts are and how to contact them; do research, and read.
           If you haven’t any money to buy the computer to get on the Internet and do a Google keyword search on your problem, or to go to the bookstore and buy the books you need to find out who or what will solve the problem, go to the library. Libraries are free, you can use their computers for free, you can borrow books for free, and you can use the services of a research librarian for free. Research librarians are worth their weight in gold. Ask the research librarian your question, i.e., “What books do you have about gaining wealth?” What is your question? Is it about earning income, finding a more suitable career, how to start your own business, how to start conversations, how to find more nurturing relationships, how to solve health problems through diet and exercise, how to find competent and caring health practitioners through alternative medicine?
           If you have a health problem, emotional issues, or relationship issues, contact a licensed doctor or counselor in a private practice (found in the yellow pages of the phone book), or look in the phone book under your city or town for Social Services (found in the blue pages of your white pages phone directory). If you have low income, or no income, the costs for Social Services will be low, or free. Call several doctors or counselors (at least three) to get a feel for how they will treat you as an individual. Ask them how they go about treatment, what the costs are, and whether or not they allow interruptions during treatment,i.e., phone calls, or third parties coming into the room. (If they allow interruptions and don’t respect the privacy of the client, don’t make an appointment with that practitioner.) Make an appointment with the one who you get a good feeling about on the phone. Compatibility is just as important as competency.
           You are the captain of your life ship, not some genie in the sky. You have the power to turn your life around. The only belief system that is involved in the solutions to your problems is that you must believe you can do it. Empower yourself: take positive action.
           What is the secret to health, happiness, and wealth? You are. Here are some positive actions that I have found that everyone can take in the real world:

            I have found the following books to be helpful in my life.  They may be of help to you, too:

The War of Art: Break Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles by Steven Pressfield.
The title says it all.

On Writing Well by William Zinsser
This great book on writing has been around since the seventies and it is still the best basic book on writing nonfiction.

The Courage to be Rich by Suze Orman
This is a great money management 101 course. This book will open your eyes about possible financial pitfalls and how to get out of them. Suze Orman’s financial advice is empowering, and she shares her own experiences.

Women and Money by Suze Orman
This is another empowering book that will help women rescue themselves financially. It gives a step-by-step Save Yourself plan that is absolutely doable. The real-life stories she tells are enlightening.

Alternative Medicine, The Definitive Guide, compiled by the Burton Goldberg Group
I look everything up in this book. It is, indeed, the definitive guide to alternative medicine; it explains the body from head to toe, and self-help remedies for illness, in a user-friendly manner, with sound advice from caring licensed medical practitioners.

How to Talk to Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere by Larry King
I know very few people who don’t get stuck for words, at least some of the time. If you are shy, this book will help. This book takes the mystery out of how to begin a conversation with friends or strangers, and how to make conversation a stress-free, enjoyable experience.

Fit for Life by Harvey Diamond
I’ve known so many people who are over weight but don’t know how to overcome weight problems. I used to be one of them. Fit for Life is about options, not starvation, or some crazy, trend-setting diet. This book makes sense and the directions and explanations are remarkably easy to follow —for life.

What Color Is Your Parachute? By Richard Nelson Bolles
I’ve recommended this book often to people who know they aren’t happy in their career but don’t know what else they can do. It is the definitive career guide, and career change guide, and it’s updated annually. Life-and-career-changing exercises will help you find what is important to you that will lead to your true calling.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra
The philosophy in this thin book is centering. The easy-to-read introduction and seven days of mindfulness tasks are logical and calming. It’s such a good book that I have given it to many people as a gift. This book got me to start meditating, which is a positive, calming thing you can do to help yourself, and when you are calm, you see things more clearly.

Good luck to you in your journey in this life. —Tricia Stuart